


All I've Ever Wanted

by whatadudeman



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Larry Mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatadudeman/pseuds/whatadudeman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn hangs up and Harry’s heart hurts. He wants Zayn to be there again, just the two of them. He thinks back to lazy Sundays and how he could reach out and touch Zayn whenever he wanted. His skin remembers the feeling of Zayn’s and it makes him want to weep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I've Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly just a short drabble written for a prompt on Tumblr.
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](http://styleslovesmalik.tumblr.com)!

Harry is sitting at his desk, biting his nails- something he hasn't done in years. Cara walks in and joins him in his small space, a worrisome expression on her face.  
"He still hasn't called I take it?" she asks.  
Harry's head jerks towards the sound, his eyes widening. "Oh, hey. Um, no- I guess not."  
She takes a seat and her hands rest in her lap. "Sorry, Harry."  
Harry nods.  
"Do you want to come out tonight?" she asks, eyebrows raised.  
Harry shakes his head. He thinks that tonight he just wants to do what he used to do nearly every night -be with Zayn. But he knows that tonight, just like every other night in the last two weeks, he will spend alone.  
"Should I call him?" Harry asks suddenly.  
"If you think it'll help," Cara suggests.  
"I've already called a few times," Harry admits.  
"No answer?" she asks.  
"No answer," Harry repeats.  
"Then maybe give it time?"  
Harry nods again.  
"I've gotta go, Harry. Hang in there."  
He tries to give her a smile but it turns out lopsided and confused- much like his life at the moment.  
Later that night it's time for Harry to go home, back to the flat that he used to share with Zayn. When he enters he sees that more of Zayn's stuff has gone -DVD's and books, leaving the shelves bare. Harry can't bear to think of what the apartment will look like once Zayn takes all of his things. He can't bear to think of what will happen to him. He shrugs his coat off and goes into the bedroom to get his robe. There on the bedroom floor, he notices something. Its a case of some sort, peeking out from under the bed.  
Harry kneels and takes the case from the ground. It's a CD and it reads "Zayn, I hope you like it". He almost wants to laugh at himself and the first mix CD he had made Zayn. I hope you like it?- was he an idiot? Zayn loved anything Harry gave him at that point in their relationship. Their love was so new, vibrant. Harry wondered what had changed.  
He goes into the bath and turns on the shower. While waiting for the water to warm he puts the CD into the player and turns it up. Harry stays in the shower until he has heard every song. By the end he's weeping against the cold, tiled wall of the shower. Every song reminds him of the perfection that is Zayn Malik. Every song makes him realize how much he has changed because Zayn was in his life.  
When he leaves the bathroom he turns off the player and goes to find his coat. He checks his phone for messages, missed calls- anything. He finds nothing, as has been the norm for the last two weeks. Harry then looks to the clock, wondering if its too late to try Zayn's cell. His body acts before he can decide, however, and dials Zayn.  
"Hello?" the boy answers.  
"Zayn?" Harry asks.  
"Yeah- hey."  
And Harry is quiet. He isn't sure what to say.  
"I'm coming for the rest of my things tomorrow," Zayn says. "I'm leaving for Bradford on Saturday."  
Harry finds the will to say something. "Bradford?"  
"I figured home was a good place to start over, and I need that."  
"I don't want you to go," Harry says, and it sounds like he's pleading- because he is.  
"That's not your choice," Zayn tells him.  
Harry stays quiet.  
"Anyway it's good you called, because I wanted to tell you that." He pauses. "I have to go."  
"Okay," Harry says.  
Zayn is just about to hang up when Harry speaks up again. "Hey- remember that CD I made you?"  
"Harry that was years ago," Zayn says.  
"Remember how much you liked it?" Harry asks.  
"I didn't like it," Zayn answers. "I loved that CD. Every song was perfect and I thought that was the most special gift anyone had ever given me."  
Harry smiles at that- a real smile, something he hasn't felt in weeks.  
"But I've really got to go Harry," Zayn says a minute later.  
"Okay, yeah."  
Zayn hangs up and Harry's heart hurts. He wants Zayn to be there again, just the two of them. He thinks back to lazy Sundays and how he could reach out and touch Zayn whenever he wanted. His skin remembers the feeling of Zayn's and it makes him want to weep.  
He thinks back to the CD and what Zayn had said. So Harry takes seat at his desk and makes another CD. At first he's picky about the songs and then realizes they're all too depressing. He then chooses songs that remind him of Zayn- pretty, happy songs.  
-  
"Zayn?"  
Cara is a bit startled to see him- especially since it had been so long since she had seen Zayn in the office.  
"Is Harry in?" Zayn asks, although it sounds more like a demand.  
"He is," she says, "is he expecting you?"  
Zayn doesn't bother with her question, and instead he keeps moving- until he has reached the small office in the back. Zayn doesn't knock, he doesn't falter.  
Harry looks up from his computer with eyes of pure shock. He stands quickly. "Zayn, what are you doing here?"  
"Excuse me?" Zayn asks, the annoyance in his voice clear.  
Harry doesn't have a chance to gather his thoughts before Zayn speaks again.  
"What am I doing here?" Zayn mocks. "I'm here because you slipped this under my door last night." In his hand he has the second CD Harry made.  
"Sorry-" Harry tries.  
Zayn interrupts. "Harry, do you remember why I left?"  
Harry nods slowly.  
"Is this a joke?" Zayn asks, waving the CD about.  
Harry is so confused that he doesn't know what to say.  
"Every song on this CD has the same damn message. It's I love you, and I love you, and I love you- a hundred times over!"  
Harry isn't sure what to think. "Isn't that a good thing?" He didn't plan for the CD to end up that way. They were just songs, Harry wasn't paying attention to their meanings.  
Zayn glares at him. "No, it's not."  
Harry frowns.  
"Why is it that you can make some sappy CD with sixteen songs that all say the same thing and yet you can't say the damn thing?"  
Harry looks at him apologetically. He doesn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I didn't mean for the CD to upset you -I just wanted to make you one more CD."  
"Well it did upset me," Zayn says. "It upset me so much that I cried last night and I cried this morning. I could just think of you and cry!"  
"Sorry-"  
"Stop apologizing!"  
"What do you want me to do?" Harry asks. He steps around his desk, fully facing Zayn.  
"Just tell me why you can't tell me you love me?" Zayn pleads.  
Harry frowns. "I don't know," he says. "I just can't say it."  
"Do you even care about me?"  
"That's not fair."  
"Isn't it?" Zayn asks.  
"I may not be able to say it- but I show it. You know that I love you, Zayn -why do you need to hear it?"  
"Because I'm not Louis and I'm not going to hurt you like he did. I just need you to stop letting the past get in the way of our future."  
"Do we have a future?" Harry asks.  
"I wanted a future with you more than I've ever wanted a future with anyone," Zayn admits.  
Harry lets out a sigh as he steps forward. His arms find their way around Zayn's thin frame as he feels more at home than he has his whole life. And Zayn has his hands in fists, clutching to the fabric of Harry's shirt.  
"I want a future with you too, Zayn -that's all I've ever wanted," Harry says over his shoulder. "I love you."  
Zayn inhales, taking in the scent of Harry and the words all at once. He feels an immense weight drop from his shoulders. He feels whole.  
-  
"Harry, I'm close-" Zayn struggles over the words, his head falling back -hips thrusting forward.  
"Close to what?"  
Zayn's eyes are suddenly wide as he sees Liam in the doorway to their bedroom. But he's soon distracted by the quick flick of Harry's tongue and a second later he's coming undone. His head falls back and his eyes flutter at the pleasure surging through his body.  
Harry makes his way up Zayn's body, leaving kissing here and there. It's only when Harry has reached Zayn's neck that Liam sees him as he's now out from under the blankets. Harry leaves a soft kiss on Zayn's lips before he lays his head on Zayn's chest -because he has always loved the sound of Zayn's heartbeat just after Harry has driven him to the furthest point of pleasure.  
That's when Harry sees Liam standing there -blushing like a schoolgirl.  
"Oh, Liam- I'm sorry you had to see that."  
Liam laughs at that. "I'm not," he proudly declares.  
"Excuse me?" Zayn asks.  
"Up until this moment I was the only one in our group of friends that hadn't walked in on you two having sex," Liam explains. "Now Niall can't make fun anymore."  
Zayn rolls his eyes at that. Harry smiles.


End file.
